Who Me?

About the site

The previous incarnation of this site began as a means for me to showcase my (poor) design portfolio after graduation. Then the blog thing came about and I figured I should get with the program too. Unfortunately I started off with basic HTML and remained shackled to it, and for the next seven years the site remained largely featureless and plain.

BUT LO AND BEHOLD LOOK AT THIS NEW WORDPRESS-POWERED SITE. Just look at it.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that despite having started this blog at the tail end of 2009, I’ve been in the game since 2002. So don’t front.

About the author

A Digest Compendium Of The Shtikman’s World

  1. My mum named me Benny because she wanted her children to have English first names in A-B-C order. My elder sister is Amy and my younger brother is Calvin. And I didn’t really go by Benny until primary school. If I had a choice I would’ve been Bazooka at birth.
  2. In 6 years of primary school, I had at least one academic trophy for each year. Best in Maths, Top in Class, Best in English etc. Then my grades dropped dramatically in secondary school for whatever reason. My mum blamed it on puberty. I disagree, because I didn’t really reach puberty till 25. I still keep them in a pink plastic bag in the corner of my room as proof that I haven’t been stupid all my life.
  3. I used to breakdance when I was in high school and performed at various school events. I was in a crew called I.R.S. which stood for Infinite Rhythm Soundsystem (recognize, motherf**kers!) and even had a group t-shirt with our names emblazoned at the back of the collar. This is the first time I’ve talked about this in a decade so excuse me while I bawl at the thought of my former flexible self.
  4. I used to be so terrified by this large copy of the Mona Lisa in my school canteen that I would see the image on blank walls and doors. Being the weird kid that I am, I went back to the canteen after school hours just to freak myself out even further.
  5. Despite appearances I have more anxiety disorders than you can shake a stick at. I struggle daily to control them.
  6. I’ve really only been in love once.
  7. Given the time and attention I’ll be more than happy to recount the entire history of hip-hop and how it has evolved to what it is (or what it sorely isn’t) today.
  8. One of my many anxiety-related daily rituals include running down a mental list of things every morning before I leave home – wallet, car keys, mobile, mobile battery, watch, comb, remote control (for the automatic gate) and house keys. Despite no longer needing to carry a spare battery and comb thanks to lithium-ion technology and a receding hairline respectively, I still run the list down in the same order.
  9. I had my first joint when I was doing my degree in the UK. It didn’t really do much for me, other than make all my favourite music sound universally subatomically f**king awesome maaaaaannn.
  10. I appeared on television once back in the 80’s when I was nine or ten. It was a documentary produced by one of the local networks about Chinese New Year and featured my entire family from my mom’s side. My appearance consisted of about five seconds of me serving some food to my sister.
  11. I spent almost an hour soaking in Picasso’s Guernica at the Museo Reina Sofia in Madrid, to the annoyance of my friends who were travelling with me in Spain in 2001. I was in awe and simply couldn’t believe that I was seeing the actual painting after years of having a tiny inkjet printout pinned to the corkboard in my room.
  12. I told my parents that the animated computer graphics test patterns on my old IBM 486 PC were results of my computer hacking skills.
  13. Said computer went up in smoke when I tried switching the voltage selector from 240V to 110V because I thought I could save on electricity.
  14. My favourite place in London is Shad Thames. I love the wooden walkways criss-crossing between the old warehouses.
  15. Merely thinking about the vastness of the ocean gives me the creeps.
  16. I love computer games but haven’t touched a gaming console in years. And the only games I ever play are those that require little to no strategy. The first time I played Starcraft I asked, “How do you fire the lasers?!”
  17. Speaking of games, I got a week-long headache after playing a review copy of Doom 3 during my stint at PC Magazine due to the dark and claustrophobic nature of the game. My doctor said my neurons were over-excited and firing uncontrollably. Which is doctor speak for ‘U R LAMEZ’.
  18. I used to be able to sleep 8 hours a day. Now I can’t help but wake up involuntarily after just 6 hours.
  19. Despite my deep passion for music, I can’t play any instruments. In hindsight I deeply regret not pursuing my piano lessons beyond grade 3.
  20. I hate plants, soil, insects, slugs etc. In other words, I hate nature.
  21. I especially hate the common house gecko, due to an unfortunate episode when I was kid where a pair of amorous geckoes fell on top of my head.
  22. I receive an average number of 2 phone calls a week.
  23. The last vivid dream I had was of someone stabbing me in the right chest. I remember thinking to myself, “Don’t pull it out! You’ll die!” I woke up with a tangible pain in my chest.
  24. I am terrible at card games.
  25. I have a secret EP of self-produced hip-hop beats that shall remain secret.

(Reproduced from a Facebook meme)