31/7/2003
Someone came to my website looking for 'fungi limit in noodles'. In the words of Weebl and Bob, "How rare."

27/7/2003
A couple of weeks back I watched Escaflowne again. It's this Japanese animated series involving robots, a school girl, knights, monks, cat-people, dragons and Isaac Newton. Sounds really cheesy, but I assure you this ain't no Sailor Moon. Watching Escaflowne is like reading a really good book – there are favourite parts, twists in the storyline that never get boring and, unlike a book, it has an excellent soundtrack to boot. Everyone that I've lent the series to always say the same thing – once the story starts pulling you in you can't wait to find out what happens next. My housemate back in Coventry became so engrossed with it he watched all 26 episodes in a day. Nothing beats a good story, innit?

Which brings me to this webcomic. It's called Strings Of Fate and I've been reading it since it began. What stands out immediately is how beautiful the drawings are. I find the characters very fluid and expressive. The story's pretty good too, considering that it's all one person's work. Great stuff. Check it out. Thank you please.

Umm ... what else ... wanna know what I've been listening to? Sure you do, that's what you visit this site for, isn't it?

Pullman – Turnstyles & Junkpiles
Caetano Veloso – The Definitive Collection (for lazy bastards like me who can't be bothered to trawl through his whole back catalogue)
Tobias Thomas – Smallville
Kid Loco – AnotherLateNight (he does some pretty good mixes, but his own music is a bit naff)
And Jeff Buckley of course.

I'll be at the Tate Britain later today for Bridgette Riley with David. I can't remember what time we're supposed to meet.

25/7/2003
Today my sister talked to me about how frustrated she has been that we haven't communicated for the past couple of months. She complained about how I answer her in cryptic tones and how she doesn't know what goes on in my life because I never talk to her about anything. Which isn't entirely false, because I do speak in cryptic tones and I don't talk to her when there isn't need to. It wasn't like this, and I can't remember when it started, but it was me who decided to stop talking. A lot of things led me to make that decision which I won't get into, but it was for the best at that particular point in time. And somehow, instead of just being a temporary measure to cool things down, it gradually became a norm.

Unlike what my sister thinks, I don't hate her or anything. For the record I love my family to bits. The problem is that I keep it in my head and heart so everyone else just thinks I'm a moody freak. Which I was, but no longer am (or at least I think so). But because my family has only ever seen me as a moody freak, I'm still thought of as a moody freak. Only I and possibly God will ever know how much I have struggled to change. Occasionally my past catches up on me; I grit my teeth, burst out of my clothes and turn into The Sulk again. But at least I'm more conscious of it nowadays and I try my best to snap out of it quicker.

Somehow it doesn't work with my family. Because they still see me as Benny circa 1996-98 I don't have the same inclination to control my moods as well as I do with other people. I singled out the period between '96 and '98 cos that was when I think my mood swings were at their worst. Blame it on teen angst, psycho ex-girlfriend or the Roaccutane that I was taking; whatever it is I'm glad I'm out of it. Not entirely as I've mentioned, but certainly enough to enable me to move on. Anyway, with (most) everyone else, I have the opportunity to work from a clean slate. With my family all I have is the slate that I was given since birth. I am what my family wants me to be when they don't see me. Kinda like that ridiculous character from that Ben Stiller flick, Mystery Men. What's his name ... Invisible Boy, who only ever turns invisible when no one is looking.

What's my point of all this rambling then? Well, just as a note to myself and possibly as entertainment to people who read this blog, I'm happy with how far I've come as a person, whether or not people realise the journey that I've been through. Hopefully I'll be able to convince my family (and perhaps some other people) that I've truly changed for the better. But for now, Sulk tired. Sulk been talking long time. Wanna eat Tesco chocolate éclair.

22/7/2003
"#128 In A Series: Albums I Should've Known About A Long Time Ago But Only Just Discovered Today"

In today's episode, we discover Grace by the amazing Jeff Buckley. I'm listening to it for the third time today and I think this is possibly the best farewell present that London can offer me. Bought it for cheap too from Reckless, which is also having a 20% sale off all music. I think I'll be going down again tomorrow. Anyway, yes, Grace. What a wonderful album. Wow. Like ... wow ... mmm ... aah ... so good. Yes. Jeff Buckley. My favourite tracks at the moment are 'Last Goodbye' and 'So Real'.

I also picked up:
Quannum – Spectrum
Broadway Project – The Vessel
Pussy Galore (a compilation from Pussyfoot records)
House Of Pain – Fine Malt Lyrics (gotta return this actually, there's a weird fault with the CD)

I went to Banksy's Turf War exhibition last weekend. Very nice indeed. I liked the big wall pieces and the animals. I was a bit surprised at the amount of corporate sponsorship that he had though - my T-shirt had 'Puma' on the sleeve, which really sucks. Still, it's cool if it enables him to put on a good show, which he did. Someone actually scrawled 'Banksy is a sell-out' on the front window pane. I got tired of waiting for my altsense gallery to get back online, so I decided to create a mini-site for the Banksy exhibition. Check it out here!

Oh yeah, my boxes have finally been shipped. Not without some drama beforehand. I live on the fourth floor and by the grace of all the luck in the world the elevator broke down last week. Apparently they were too heavy to be carried down the stairs safely so we proceeded to slide the boxes down. I was apprehensive at first but no one would help me carry them, so slide we did. I broke into a sweat seeing my boxes go bumping and banging all the way to the ground floor, resulting in scratches and dents all over the boxes. If this is how it is even before they leave the flat for real, what fate awaits my stuff within the next five weeks or so? More sweat ensued. I cannot and do no want to imagine. I can only hope and pray that the Supreme Being of Cardboard Boxes will bless my boxes so that they will last until they get back to Malaysia.

17/7/2003
Packing up is such a bitch. I don't have a lot of stuff; I've only managed to fill 3 of my 8 boxes so far. It's just that I can never get my head round a single, definitive way to pack my CDs. When I think I've arranged them in the safest possible manner and padded them adequately I come up with a different, presumably better alternative. I worry about my CDs so much I think I'm gonna faint the day I see my boxes leave the flat. I've already seperated my 'essential albums' from my 'non-essential albums', the latter of which will go into the boxes. The former will come with me on my economy flight home. Yes, I am fussy like that.

Earlier in the week on Monday I went to see Yo La Tengo and Calexico at Somerset house. I thought Yo La Tengo's set was a bit too short and they should've had the later slot. Regardless, Calexico were pretty entertaining. But in hindsight I thought I didn't get my money's worth from the gig, considering that me and Polly had to get in through the touts at £30 a pop. Which I have only myself to blame really, since I could've decided to get it online a long time ago but kept delaying it. In fact I would've skipped the gig entirely if it wasn't for the fact that I won't possibly get to see another one in London for a long, long time.

Have you ever dreamt about hearing this super-great tune that you've never heard before in your entire life? And no matter how hard you try you just can't remember it after you wake up? I had one of them last night. But instead of forgetting it again, this time round I thought I'd try and hum it into my Minidisc recorder. I quickly jumped out of bed in a half-awake/half-asleep daze and groped around for my microphone and MD player. I pressed 'record' and proceeded to hum whatever I could recall into the microphone. I was beginning to lose the tune even as I was humming it but I figured as long as I got it recorded I could listen to it again. I made sure I recorded for at least a minute or more before I pressed 'stop'. Voila! I finally did it! I captured a dream-tune, so to speak. Eagerly, I connected my headphones, turned the volume up and pressed 'play'. And then ...

I woke up. F**k.

5/7/2003
You can't help but think that Radiohead, despite being the best band in the world, took some tips from Boards Of Canada, which are fucking excellent just as well but because they're strange and shun the limelight and are only made up of two members who don't play any traditional instruments (Traditional? What is traditional in this day and age?), they don't get as much fanfare as Radiohead. Not that I have anything against Radiohead, but if Boards Of Canada started playing instruments, and added another three members to their band, would they be the next Radiohead? I mean, there will never be a next Radiohead, but will Boards Of Canada be headlining Glastonbury or something? Not unlikely, which is to say, quite possible. But someone in Boards Of Canada will have to sing and dance like a crazy monkey when they're 'in their element', you know, like, when they're absolutely and completely immersed into the music. When you see Thom Yorke onstage prancing like a monkey at a warehouse rave, you don't think he's crazy. You think - he's Thom Yorke. Don't you? I do.

Someone on a Malaysian music message board said " '2+2=5' – whateverlah". What does he mean by that?

So I asked for eight 18"x18"x30" boxes from this shipping company. To send my stuff back home, seen? Right until the very point where the guy over the phone asked me how many boxes I needed, I never thought much about the fact that I'm heading home soon. Sure, I've mentioned it lots of times, but I can't imagine how I'd feel when I finally reach home, lie on my bed in my room and realise that I won't be going back to the UK anytime soon. It's going to be kinda weird. For the past four years I've always been in a rush to do as many things as I could whenever I was back in KL. But soon, I won't have to rush like that anymore. GAWD!! How's that gonna feel like?

There are koi fish in my garden back home. Koi fish are weird. And unique. They are like the Thom Yorke of all fishes. Should it be ' Thom Yorke of all fishes' or 'Thom Yorke of all fish'? My sucks grammar. Anyway, once, this adventurous koi leaped out of the pond onto the driveway. It went on to college with a government scholarship and is now pursuing a degree in geology. It died, of course. The gardener said that the koi was 'feeling itchy', or at least, that's what it was translated from Cantonese. Yeah, bet you didn't know that. Fish actually itch. It must have been a tremendous itch to force anything to wanna commit suicide. Apparently, koi fish get sick too and they need this pink, liquid medicine. It needs to be liquid cos they don't take well to gelatine capsules.

Ahh ... I'll be seeing my koi fish soon.

2/7/2003
Inspired by the recent Giant Robot cover story on Snoopy and the legacy of the Peanuts characters, I decided to borrow/buy some old Charlie Brown movies. I thought it'd be pretty easy, you know, maybe get some videos out from the library or something.

The only video in the public libraries that I can find is Snoopy, Come Home! It's a good watch, but this was one of those Peanuts features made in the 70's with silly, Sesame Street-type music. The ones I really want are the earlier, classic Charlie Brown movies with Vince Guraldi's music, which is probably what turned me onto jazz in the first place. Fine I thought, if I can't find any to borrow I'm willing to buy some videos, DVDs even, cos I figured it's something that's really worth keeping. So I search for it in HMV and Virgin Megastores. Turns out that for some reason, all Charlie Brown videos have been discontinued in the UK. Why? Don't the British like Snoopy?

So I turn to the internet instead. Amazon.com has loads of Charlie Brown videos and DVDs. Hooray! Or so I thought. Considering that these are American Region 1 DVDs, I won't be able to watch them on my PC which can only play Region 2 DVDs. Okay, fuck technology, let's just get a good ol' video cassette then. But NO! Even the videos are incompatible with the video player I have cos it's in NTSC format. Blaahdee hell!

Maybe someone out there can get me the Peanuts Holiday Collection for my birthday? You'll be my best friend if you do! What more can you ask for?