27/8/2005
Broken Social Scene new album! Totally rocks!

Girls beware! I'm on the prowl this weekend! You cannot resist me!

20/8/2005
Girls – believe me when I tell you this. If I could change things, I would. But I don't have a choice. I'm born ugly like this. I apologise if I look like I wanna spike your drink with a date rape drug, but you've probably let worse looking guys buy you drinks. So why not me? Is it because I'm yellow?

Trust me, I feel the same way too. Sometimes I wake up in tears because I look in the mirror and I'm still not Caucasian. It's my dream to one day be bestowed by the heavens with a white dick. But until that glorious day arrives, I will continue to keep my hopes alive. Anything for you, girls.

Maybe my smile is wrong. My teeth aren't that nice either. Should I smile at all? Or should I smirk? Perhaps there's more male-ness in smirking. It's more intriguing. Yes, that must be it. I think Brad Pitt looks hotter when he smirks too.

But seriously, jokes aside, tell me what you want. I'll do it. You want me to take you out to dinner? Sure, I'll do that. I'll even get you a Happy Meal, replete with the Toy of the Week. You want expensive clothes? Okay, I'll do that too. If Petaling Street isn't good enough, I'll even bring you to Factory Outlet.

Girls like jazz, don't they? I have good taste in music. I like jazz too.

"Oh I love Norah Jones, she's the best!"

Norah Jones is jazz? I can accept that. See, I'll do anything!

Please, just tell me what I need to do.

At times like these, you have to thank God for pornography.