29/4/2003
Barely 3 months after getting my iPod, here comes a new one. Damnit!

For the past week I've been going to this library a lot.

"Whot? Benny? Library?"

Fo' shizzle ma nizzle, and I'm going again tomorrow. Only because I can borrow CDs for 25 pence each for a whole week. Hehe ... you know what I've been up to then, don't you?

I'm amazed at my own stupidity sometimes. I mean, most of the time it's just amusing, but today it was amazing. I went to the Odeon in Covent Garden today and I was looking at the price list when I realised that shows before 5 pm on weekdays cost only £5.50 compared to £8.50 after five and on weekends. I never knew that even though I've been going to the same cinema for quite some time now. But it was already six so I thought, oh well, next time then, and I bought my ticket. Only after getting the ticket did my sense of logic kick in – I wasn't in a rush to see the film, and I had nothing to do tomorrow. So why couldn't I just go earlier tomorrow and see the movie for £3 cheaper instead? For a brief moment I considered banging my head against the popcorn machine but Brain, who's now up and awake, told me not to. So I didn't.

Thankfully Lilya 4-Ever was brilliant. It reminded me a lot about Requiem For A Dream, in the way that both films just get absolutely depressing towards the end. Well, actually Lilya 4-Ever is already quite miserable from the beginning. But whereas the characters in Requiem could've chosen different paths in their lives, Lilya had no way out. The sad thing is that she genuinely wants to turn her life around, but, to paraphrase a line from the film, everyone just keeps spitting at her. Scenes of dirty flats, seedy clubs and old perverts just add further misery to the already gloomy nature of the story. Great film. Highly recommended.

And to think that I could've seen it for £3 less than I did. Darn.

19/4/2003
Massive f**king Attack!!! Are they the coolest band in the world or what? Well, alongside Radiohead, no one else really. Anyway, the gig was super-fantastic. Me and Russ went in at about 8 pm and we managed to catch what remained of the opening act. I asked the guy at the bar who they were, and I heard him say 'Dark Alice'. Whatever, I thought.

After the girl/boy acoustic band went offstage, the lights dimmed and these guys started carrying out sound checks and stuff. This was probably the worst part of the night. The whole thing took almost 25 to 30 minutes and for that whole time there was just this ambient, rumbling bass drone. I was getting really bored and annoyed when finally, 3D came on and opened the show with 'Future Proof'. Hooray!

Soon after, the rest of the band members started appearing one by one, only taking stage when they feature on a particular song. When Horace Andy came on and the humming bassline of 'Angel' started playing, I could feel the hair at the back of my neck rising. I was equally ecstatic when Daddy G appeared and performed 'Risingson' with 3D. And then the girl from that girl/boy acoustic opening act came onstage and took charge of most of the female vocals (all except those of Shara Nelson's on Blue Lines, which was performed by another singer). At this point I spotted a tiny speck of flashing text on the display at the back of the stage and exclaimed to myself, "Man, it's Dot Allison, not bloody 'Dark Alice'!"

'Safe From Harm' was a particularly memorable performance. All throughout the song the visuals included this sorta 'countdown' of the amount of money spent by governments on arms and weapons, amounting to billions of dollars. As the numbers grew bigger, the music got louder and more intense. Finally everything exploded, both music and visuals, when the countdown came to its biggest spender – the United States. I thought that was such a powerful statement. I've seen Shadow, Public Enemy, El-P; all very anti-war, all took the opportunity to voice their feelings on the state of the world today through the stage presence given to them. Some bordered on being too preachy, some could've done better by putting a bit more thought into their articulated opinions. Massive Attack on the other hand, were a class act. No less anti-war than the other people I've seen, instead of taking a breather in between songs to say what they wanna say, the got on with the show and let their visuals and music do the talking. I really appreciated this aspect of the show.

Right, so back to the music. I was expecting 'Unfinished Sympathy' to be part of an encore performance or something but it came on midway through the set. I was caught off guard for a brief moment cos I didn't recognise the live version, having not expected it to be performed that early, but when I realised it was 'Unfinished Sympathy' I literally just leapt for joy. 'Teardrop' was very good too, and so was 'Inertia Creeps'. Loads of other songs too but I can't remember their names. For the encore they performed 'Group Four', which I felt could've been better replaced with 'Protection' or 'Karmacoma' which were never performed at all (gutted!). Either way, if you remember the tune you'd recall that it ends on a pretty hardcore, rocking note. The band turned this into an extended frenzy of a closer for the night with crashing guitars and drums which grew quicker and louder. Climax, lights flash like mad, show ends. And that was Massive Attack for you.

All in all, brilliant show. If you're a true fan of the band, trust me when I say this; they sound so much better onstage than on record and you simply haven't heard Massive Attack until you've heard them live. 100th Window? All is forgiven. I love Massive Attack.

And I brought my digital camera!

18/4/2003
Just quickly:

This month's Spin cover has gotta be the worst ever. F**kin' Limpin' Park. Jaysuz.

WAHOO!! My sister's gone to Barcelona for the Good Friday weekend so I have the flat all to myself! We gonna party like it's your birthday, we gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday ...

I've been compiling this CD and designing a cover for it, just for fun. Some hard-edged, heavy beats sorta stuff. Gave one to Polly who didn't seem impressed at all with my design. Sob. It certainly looks a lot nicer on screen than it does on an inkjet print. I'll try and get Jo to print me some proper stuff when she gets back to work next week. These are how the front and back covers look like.

I saw Solaris yesterday. Pretty good film, only gripe was at the gratuitous use of George Clooney's butt cheeks. And I've been listening to the new White Stripes album, Super Numeri's Great Aviaries (one of the more decent releases on Ninja Tune, methinks), Spacek's Vintage Hi-Tech, Plaid's two-CD collection of remixes and the All Tomorrow's Parties 3.0 compilation.

And tonight I see Massive Attack!

9/4/2003
There's been some talk over on the Mo'Wax board about original songs versus their cover versions. I mentioned that Tricky's cover of 'Black Steel' was more musically energetic than the Public Enemy one. Lyrically though PE's delivery on the original is much stronger and evocative. It's like this; Tricky's is 'fight for your right to party', and PE's is 'party for your right to fight'. Anyway, listening to Maxinquaye again right now and I realise I still like it a lot.

"Drink till I'm drunk and smoke till I'm senseless."

You know how dreaming about certain things can reveal your present thoughts and feelings? Like, water, sea, swimming, has got something to do with sex (apparently so does dreaming about sex). Running in your dreams symbolises an attempt to get away from problems in life etc. Yesterday, I dreamt of seals riding on jet-skis. I kid you not. I have provided you with an expertly produced picture to illustrate what I dreamt about (check my Photoshop skillz!). In my opinion, the jet-ski is a representation of me, endlessly surfing the rough seas in search of 'the truth'. The seal represents 'the man' getting me down, swaying me from my course and rendering me ever further from 'the truth'. It's a symbol of struggle, of neverending hope, and ultimately, of life.

Call me at 1-800-BUL-SHT for expert consultation on your dreams and their meanings.

6/4/2003
!#%&*^$@!#%&*^$@ My pictures from Public Enemy on Thursday amounted to nothing. Only tiny specks of light in a sea of darkness. Disposable cameras sucks azz. Suck suck suck.

*Bitter*

Aside from that, it was a tremendous gig. Went in and saw what remained of Killa Kela's supporting act. Michelle insists he's an awesome beatboxer but I didn't get to see enough of him to be able to offer a substantiated opinion on the guy. After him, Kutmasta Kurt came onstage with his Mexican wrestling mask (no picture, !#%&*^$@) and manned the decks. Soon after, Kool Keith came on. Kool Keith! Ultramagnetic MC! Dr Octagon! Dr Dooom! Black Elvis! It was incredible to be able to see a rapper of Keith's magnitude live and in person. He performed some UMC staples, 'Sex Style', 'Blue Flowers', it rocked.

By now I figured the guy in the corner DJing in between the acts was probably DJ Spykid (worked with Anjali ... umm, that's all I know). Respect to him for playing some awesome mid-90's hip-hop which I enjoyed immensely. Along with some unknown dudes behind me I was singing (rapping?) along to A Tribe Called Quest's 'Scenario', Jeru The Damaja's 'Come Clean', O.C.'s 'Time's Up'. Stuff I grew up with.

Finally, Public Enemy. Rapturous applause and a'ights from the crowd greeted Chuck D, Professor Griff, Flava Flav, the S1W and their excellent band. Raising my fist, waving my hands in the air like I just don't care, seeing Chuck D in his hoodie ("Bass! How low can you go?"), Flava Flav and his clock ("Yeah boyeeee!"), 'Welcome To The Terrordome', 'Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos', 'Fight The Power' – I've never felt more hip-hop in my entire life. But no pictures. !#%&*^$@

I'm tempted to say that the PE gig topped the Shadow gig but to be fair, they're in different leagues altogether. But for the record, Public Enemy truly brought the noise and rocked, even if it meant having relatively no new material. Regardless, the enormity of their legacy in hip-hop will always guarantee them props and adulation. To paraphrase PE themselves, do believe the hype.

Disposable cameras - never again.

2/4/2003
April.

I've decided to host my photo album on altsense. It's a lot easier updating pictures and I've got some space for descriptions too. And the pictures look somewhat nicer there. I dunno.

I've been listening to:
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – Pig Lib
Murs – The End Of The Beginning (good!)
The Fall – This Nation's Saving Grace
Joy Division – Substance (nice!)
Manitoba – Up In Flames (a bit overhyped to say the least, but I've only listened to it once)
Yo La Tengo – Summer Sun

And I downloaded the new Radiohead off the net! More rock, less ambient noodling (which I never complained about, but some purists do). I promise you I'll go out and get it when it's released. Also ... also, I recorded DJ Shadow's Essential Mix off BBC Radio 1 on Sunday morning. Been listening to that a lot. I'll offer it for download somewhere if I can figure out how. Would be a lot simpler if I still had my broadband connection. Any of you who know me in person can just ask me for a copy. Two hours = 2 CDs. Checkit!